Why Planning Ahead Is an Act of Love
When it comes to prenuptial agreements, most people get uncomfortable fast. The very word “prenup” tends to stir up images of divorce, distrust, and legal battles. For many, it feels like planning for a marriage to fail before it’s even begun.
But that couldn’t be further from the truth.
In fact, according to Debbie Faulkner, a seasoned wealth preservation attorney and managing partner of The Faulkner Firm, a well-drafted prenuptial agreement is actually a way to strengthen your relationship—by planning for your future together with clarity, fairness, and respect.
Let’s start by debunking a few common misconceptions.
Misconception #1: A Prenup Has to Be All or Nothing
One of the biggest misunderstandings Debbie sees is the idea that a prenup has to be black and white—you either walk away with everything or nothing. That might have made sense decades ago, in households where one spouse earned the income and the other stayed home. But today’s relationships are built on shared effort in many forms—both financial and non-financial.
A thoughtfully structured prenup doesn’t have to be one-sided or absolute. It can (and should) reflect the reality of your partnership, protect both people, and acknowledge the many ways couples support each other, whether that’s through income, caretaking, or emotional labor.
Misconception #2: You’re Stuck With It Forever
Another common belief is that a prenup is permanent and unchangeable. But life changes—and so should your agreement.
Debbie points out that many people think the prenup they sign before marriage has to last forever, even as their circumstances evolve. The truth? You can absolutely come back to the table after you’re married to revise or renegotiate the terms—especially while you’re still in a strong and loving place.
That means your prenup doesn’t need to account for every future possibility. It simply needs to reflect what’s fair and clear for the stage of life you’re in now, with the understanding that it can grow and evolve alongside your relationship.
Misconception #3: Prenups Don’t Cover Premature Death
Most people think of prenups strictly as a divorce-related document. But Debbie clarifies that a well-crafted prenup can also include protections in the event of a premature death.
Yes, wills and trusts are key parts of post-marriage estate planning—but many people don’t realize that a prenup can also include provisions to protect your partner before those other documents are in place. If you want to make sure your soon-to-be spouse is taken care of no matter what, starting that process before the wedding day makes sense.
Prenups Mean You Don’t Trust Each Other
Perhaps the biggest misconception of all is the idea that creating a prenup is somehow unromantic—or worse, a sign that you’re preparing for your marriage to fail.
But the truth is, a prenup isn’t about predicting failure. It’s about preparing for your future—together. As Debbie says, “You should be negotiating your prenuptial agreement when you’re the happiest, not when you’re at your worst.”
And it makes sense. The best time to have open, honest conversations about your future is when you’re in love, aligned, and committed to each other—not when emotions are high and tensions are flaring. By agreeing on your values and protections early on, you create a solid foundation built on transparency and mutual respect.
It’s Not Just About Money
One of the most important points Debbie highlights is that a good prenup accounts for both financial and non-financial contributions. For example, if one partner chooses to stay home and raise children while the other continues working, a prenup can help ensure both contributions are equally valued and protected.
Too often, stay-at-home parents are left vulnerable in the event of a divorce. A well-drafted agreement ensures that the effort that goes into maintaining the home, raising children, or supporting a spouse’s career is recognized and respected.
It’s Time to Rethink Prenups
Prenuptial agreements aren’t about mistrust. They’re about communication. They’re about planning ahead. And most importantly, they’re about building a relationship that honors and protects both partners—no matter what the future brings.
So if you’ve avoided the “prenup conversation” because it feels scary or taboo, maybe it’s time to look at it differently. A prenup isn’t a prediction of failure—it’s a plan for success.
Want to learn more about how a modern prenup could work for your relationship?
Schedule a consultation and start your journey with clarity, confidence, and peace of mind.